So, I'm sitting here in my bed setting up this blog, and Laine pops in the room and asks me if I've had any breakfast yet. I say "No, but I did heat up some coffee in the microwave downstairs, but I'll get it later." A few minutes pass by and Laine is in my room with a dripping coffee mug. I tell her thanks, and ask why she did that. "Because you're the best mom ever." she says. My initial reaction is immediate skepticism...what's this girl trying to get out of me? It's not because she's sneaky or even naughty - I just can't believe with all the things I say and do that she'd be able to say those words to me in honesty.
"What do you want?", I say with an I-know-you're-up-to-something look in my eyes.
"Nothing...it's just I got you some ice cream for breakfast."
"Oh really?"
"Who else has ice cream for breakfast?"
"Nobody."
"Oh...well...you guys can have some ice cream for breakfast...but just a little bit."
"Really????"
"Yes."
With that Laine bounds down the stairs. Maybe I am the best mom ever...

Honestly, it's something I've been struggling with lately. Humility. Real, honest, humbled humility is something that I desire. I find myself wondering if I've ever had it, and seriously doubting that I possess it right now. I've been depressed before. I've had moments of self-loathing. But, if I'm really honest - I love myself. I love the way that God made me, and I think it would be great if everyone could be a little bit more like me. My God, I can't even believe I just typed that... do I dare leave it here, in print, where possibly more than two people could find out what a non-humble person I am???

Well, it's still up there in all it's arrogant ugliness. I guess I'm going to leave it, but I feel the need to clarify. I don't love everything about myself. I certainly wouldn't recommend everyone have my addiction to sugar, or my penchant for swearing, or my tendency to interrupt others. I know there are things that I can change about myself. But, I know that's not enough. It's something inside of me that has to change and my brain hurts from trying to figure out how to do it? False humility is annoying. I don't want to be any more annoying than I already am. See - that was false humility. Wasn't it annoying?

So, here it is. I'm asking you, dear reader. Can humility be obtained or is it just something you have or don't have? Can humility co-exist with self confidence? I'm struggling with it. Maybe for me, humility starts with being able to admit that...